


Loss in Composure

by hopeofnyan



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asriel Dreemurr has PTSD, Asriel has unresolved emotional issues, Chara (Undertale) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Chara is not evil but she's not super sweet either, Female Chara (Undertale), Frisk is mostly in the background, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Poor Life Choices, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, This really is the trauma family, she's human, so does she for that matter, these people need therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeofnyan/pseuds/hopeofnyan
Summary: Asriel and Chara have physically been SAVEd and are living with their family on the Surface. However, they still need SAVEing in regards to their hearts and minds.A well-meaning Asgore offers Chara a gift near the end of a difficult week; it is golden with petals and her mind is allergic to the memories it contains. Asriel intervenes.
Relationships: Chara & Asgore Dreemurr, Chara & Asriel Dreemurr
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Loss in Composure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CinnamonAzzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonAzzy/gifts).



> Dedicated to CinnamonAzzy on Tumblr

Grateful as the siblings were to being brought back, living was far more complicated than being…absent. Almost nothing was the same. Their parents were split up, everyone had immense emotional burdens, and both Asriel and Chara had mixed feelings towards every member of their family – including themselves. Frisk insisted that they see therapists, or as Chara called them, nosy shrinks who thought they knew better than everyone else. This insistence had not paid off so far, but Toriel had been considering it. It was important to her that her children have a father, albeit one she disliked, and it was possible that a therapist could help them reconcile since she lost her temper around him if he was in the same area as her for more than thirty seconds. Asriel had not voiced his opinion at all; in fact, he was extremely withdrawn most of the time. Feelings of both guilt and resentment held Chara back from approaching him about his present reclusiveness. Frisk had managed to persuade Asriel into confiding with him occasionally, though he never shared that of which they spoke.

Frisk was the kind of friend Asriel had always wished for and Chara did not matter to her brother anymore, if he even considered them to be family still. Though she never said it in front of either Asriel or Frisk, Chara had thanked her mother for finding a home with separate bedrooms. She did not think she could bear sharing an identical room with Asriel again; the nostalgia would be overwhelming and painful. And though Toriel had worked to make up for lost time, it bothered Chara how hostile she acted towards Asgore. Based on the story she had put together from the accounts of Frisk, her parents, and other monsters, neither Asgore nor Toriel were blameless. Frisk had even recounted Toriel telling Asgore that he should have crossed the Barrier and acquired six other human souls rather than wait for humans to fall down; this struck both humans as disturbing and illogical. Regardless of this perspective, Chara smushed her feelings aside whenever the irritation of her mother’s behavior arose. She had no right to complain about anything after her own past actions.

The children (could they even truly be called that?) spent days with Asgore every week. Toriel desired to have weekends with them at least sometimes, so the schedule was somewhat irregular. She taught them at home for the moment; Asriel and Chara were uncomfortable being around other people for very long and Frisk refused to go to “regular” school until they were ready to as well. (Chara doubted that day would ever come for her.) Despite having been through extensive ordeals, Toriel decided that a month was long enough to put off their education and began teaching them at home thirty days after being brought back to life. Her lesson plans started off easily but after another month, the schoolwork became arduous to work through even with help. Asriel and Chara often found themselves easily exhausted and unable to focus – their mother would relent on the difficulty of their work and help them, but she never entirely halted their education.

As lovely as it was to gaze at the ever-changing sky, bask in the sunrays, watch the pattering rain, read new books, watch movies of a vast variety, and play games on the giant internet of the Surface, Chara found herself feeling miserable. Her emotions and memories were draining to bear and difficult to live with. Often she wondered if Asriel ever felt the same, but she never asked; it was not her place to comfort or help him anymore after how much she hurt him. Besides, their parents and Frisk were there for him – she was unneeded. Of course no one would say it to her face; her family was too kind to do so, but Chara was aware that they did not need or want her around. Knowing this did not erase how much that fact hurt.

On Friday evening, the Dreemurr children were welcomed by Asgore into a cozy house paired with an enthusiastic father. The bags under his eyes did not detract from how eager he appeared to be to see them; Chara let herself fade into the background as Asriel and Frisk conversed with him and followed him into the kitchen. She had not the energy to socialize after a week of gruesome nightmares, trying to hide her negative feelings, and learning and doing schoolwork. The girl did not bother saying anything as her family disappeared into the kitchen; she dragged her bags into her room and collapsed on the bed. The air conditioning was too cool, but she was also not a large furry creature and would not complain. Chara noticed her favorite blanket folded neatly over the top of the room’s armchair and snatched it before plopping on the bed again. Slumber was reached in mere minutes.

“Chara,” a voice called softly. Chara ignored it. “Hey Chara.”

“What?” she mumbled annoyedly.

“Dad made dinner,” Frisk informed her with a small grin. “He worked really hard on it.”

“That’s nice.” Chara turned her head into the mattress and feigned already being asleep again.

A sigh preceded quiet footsteps and the soft closing of a door. Mild relief washed over the girl; she was grateful for the present solitude, but also knew it would not last for more than a couple hours. The sleep she had been basking in, however, persistently refused to come back. Chara was, unfortunately, doomed to be awake despite her exhaustion. Still, she chose not to expend the tremendous effort it would take to leave her resting place. The blanket cocoon was serving her quite well. She wiggled her hand into her pocket and managed to maneuver her phone out in the tiny space and read an e-book to pass the time and keep her intrusive thoughts at bay. Her haven did not last; forty-five minutes later, footsteps thudded close to her room. Chara turned the phone off and fixed her eyes on the door of her room, which was rapidly replaced with Asgore’s bulky form after he opened it.

“Chara, I hope I did not wake you.” Asgore twiddled the fingers of his left hand nervously; his right arm was concealed behind his back.

“No, you did not, I was unable to sleep after Frisk woke me,” Chara explained simply.

At another time, she would have greeted him with a smile and been curious of what he was holding behind him. Now, however, she could not summon the energy to care. Despite Toriel giving the kids the day off and providing a three-day weekend, the past week had still been taxing.

“Ah, sorry about that. I should not have told him to look for you,” Asgore apologized. Chara shrugged as best she could in a blanket cocoon. “The boys told me you’ve had a rough week and I wanted to let you know that I am here for you if – if you ever want to talk. And I brought you something I thought might cheer you up!”

Her father stepped inside the room and brought his right arm into view. His large, fluffy paw was holding a bouquet of golden flowers. Chara’s felt herself stiffen and then freeze.

“You, er, I remember you used to love golden flowers and drew pictures of them too and told us about the ones in your old village. I’ve been growing some in, in the garden – the Surface has such a delightful climate for them! Ah, here I go rambling again. Would you like to hold them?”

Guilt prevented Chara from ripping the blossoms to shreds and stamping them into the ground; her dad just wanted to do something nice for her. She felt detached from her body as it mechanically shifted the blanket away so that her arms could reach out and receive the gift Asgore was offering. Chara feigned inhaling the scent of the golden flowers and presented a weak smile.

“Thanks Dad,” she choked out.

Asgore must have thought her gloomy demeanor was from the “rough week” he had been informed of since he did not question her behavior or seem surprised. The kind-hearted man simply smiled back and patted her head and, before departing, told her that he was going to get a vase for the flowers and would be right back.

Chara’s hands shook as the blossoms rested in her hold. They looked so similar to buttercups, despite not being the same flower. _Ranunculus_ , her mind supplied. _Ranunculus eschscholtzii. Eschscholtz's buttercup_. She still remembered her research of the exact ones she had chosen as her instruments. There were very few things Asriel had felt comfortable about teasing her for back then; being overly well-read and a nerd was one of them. She had teased him back about being a nerd too since he was her brother and read some of the same books that she did. Remembering their former relationship brought a physical pang of pain in her chest; Chara had hurt Asriel so, so, so much, felt an overwhelming amount of shame for it, and yet she still resented him at the same time.

“Chara?” a timid voice called. The owner of it was still in the hall and had not seen inside her room.

“Go away Asriel,” she told him, not snappishly, but firmly.

“Chara I need to talk to…you.” Asriel had entered her room anyway and frozen. “Y-y-you can’t! Not, not again!”

With sudden vigor, the monster threw himself at her and wrested the golden flowers away from her and began storming off.

“Asriel, stop!” Chara called, struggling out of her blanket and stumbling after him. “It’s not like that!”

“I’m not letting you do this to yourself again!” he snapped, speeding his pace as she gained on him.

“They’re a present from Dad! _He doesn’t know, you idiot_!” she growled, leaping forward and managing to snag his shoulder with her hand. “Give them back before he sees!”

“I don’t believe you!” Asriel shoved her.

“I don’t care! You’re going to hurt his feelings if you keep this stupid act!” Chara yanked him back and attempted to snatch back the bouquet – now missing a few flowers and looking worse for wear.

Asriel halted at those words, seeming to ponder them. His grip loosened enough that the human was able to reclaim the golden flowers from him without much effort.

“Where is Dad?” he queried.

“He’s getting a vase for them,” Chara replied with a frown. “You need to calm down, okay?”

 _Thud, thud, thud._ Asgore appeared in the hallway. “What is going on?”

Neither adolescent replied and both stared determinedly at the floor.

“Asriel, did you mess up the golden flowers I gave your sister?”

“Yes,” he mumbled, picking at his claws.

“Do you have something to say to her?”

“Sorry.”

The apology was cold and empty and both of them knew it. Chara did not rebuff it though; she just wanted the incident to end.

“Thanks.”

As Chara turned away and began moving towards her room, she unintentionally heard Asgore asking Asriel about the issue and tried her best to shut out their voices. This weekend was going to be a nightmare for her.

**Author's Note:**

> I was not expecting this to be so long; these characters have so many layers to them though, and I cannot help but want to explore them. I did my best to write them in-character and would love feedback on your thoughts!  
> There is one more chapter left.


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